Four Steps to Reuniting the Family
On September 11, 2001 men filled with hatred and “righteous indignation” at the actions of the “Great Satan” committed murderous acts in the name of their god, fulfilling the “righteous” requirements of the Koran. Watching the remembrances on the ten year anniversary; the planes penetrating the towers, the sounds of bodies hitting the ground as people jumped, the charred wreckage and the stories of those who survived, I was struck by the evil that results when people give themselves over to idolatry and vengeance.
Fortunately, we are different. We are sinners saved by God’s grace and mercy. Our lives reflect that mercy in the way we treat our brothers. Don’t they? Or, do we face the same danger? How do we deal with conflict within our own ranks? Do we seek to restore relationships, or do we engage in a personal Jihad, seeking justice in the name of our God? I believe the way we treat each other during times of trouble says a great deal about our faith and maturity.
In the midst of turmoil there may been times when a church body's corporate behavior reflects personal agendas instead of God’s agenda. We may take positions, or make assumptions and draw battle lines against members of our own family. We may even engage in jihad, attributing our behavior to God’s desires while demonizing our “enemies”. We can move beyond this.
7:14 and My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land. (2 Chronicles 7:14)
In the verse above God had blessed Israel, David and Solomon with the completion of the long sought after temple. The verses just before this refer to the rejoicing of the people at the dedication of this work. That night God spoke to Solomon. In the midst of the greatest blessings, the Lord knows that men will fail. He reminded Solomon of that. He also instructed that when that happens Israel must turn from their sin and back to the Lord. Their sin would lead them to ruin, but their repentance would lead them to renewal.
We are in a similar place. Doors have been opened for expanded and renewed ministry opportunities, but we have to remember that the real expansion and renewal required are in the hearts and minds of each of us. It is time to turn back to God and to turn away from our sin; away from the personal Jihads we covet. The following four areas outline God’s view of and our responsibility in reconciliation.
We are called to live in humility and genuine concern for each other.
Therefore, if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort provided by love, any fellowship in the Spirit, any affection or mercy, complete my joy and be of the same mind, by having the same love, being united in spirit, and having one purpose. Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself. Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well. You should have the same attitude toward one another that Christ Jesus had, (Philippians 2:1-5)
Our first attitude should be to have the same mind and love, being united in spirit, with one purpose. That purpose is Christ, nothing else, because anything else destroys unity. Our unity is in Christ. In that unity we should behave like Christ, treating others as more important than ourselves. That is extremely difficult, because it requires us to set aside the things we see as important. It’s a radical reprioritization of what we value.
When I was in college I worked at a Christian sports camp. The camp owner led the camp by a motto, which I have found simple, yet penetrating and practical. It is simply to be F.I.T..
(F) – First
(I) – Is
(T) – Third
First Is Third. The only way we can ever hope to be first is to be third. This radical realignment of priorities follows Philippians 2:1-11. God is first. Others come next. We come third.
Take a moment to reconcile shipwrecked relationships. When you are on Facebook, or when you have a conversation with someone in conflict with you, remember to apply this in your life. Watch how your relationships change when you remove yourself from the throne.
When conflict occurs with our brothers our first goal should be reconciliation.
“You have heard that it was said to an older generation, ‘Do not murder,’ and ‘whoever murders will be subjected to judgment.’ But I say to you that anyone who is angry with a brother will be subjected to judgment. And whoever insults a brother will be brought before the council, and whoever says ‘Fool’ will be sent to fiery hell. So then, if you bring your gift to the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother and then come and present your gift.” (Matthew 5:21-24)
Our behavior certainly has an impact, but so do our attitudes. Christ considers the renewal of our relationships so important that he is calling us to reconcile before engaging in worship. When we harbor unresolved bitterness with our brothers we hurt ourselves by putting a stumbling block to our worship. This is troubling enough on an individual basis, but devastating on a corporate level.
Do you have unresolved issues with your brothers and sisters in Christ? Make it your first priority to reconcile.
In reconciliation we need to clean up our own house first.
“Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For by the standard you judge you will be judged, and the measure you use will be the measure you receive. Why do you see the speck in your brother’s eye, but fail to see the beam of wood in your own? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye,’ while there is a beam in your own? You hypocrite! First remove the beam from your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Do not give what is holy to dogs or throw your pearls before pigs; otherwise they will trample them under their feet and turn around and tear you to pieces. (Matthew 7:1-5)
It is almost too easy to pick another person apart. We are so frail; it only takes a moment to come up with a long list of another person’s failures. I have heard a friend say that we judge others by their actions, but we judge ourselves by our motives. This is so true!
Our reconciliation with a brother should never be one sided. There are usually plenty of offenses on each side of a dispute. Our reconciliation should begin with an honest appraisal of who we are and what we have done. Christ requires us to take ownership of our own failures before we do that for another. Imagine how much easier a renewal of relationship would go, if you approached a brother with your own failures first! The defenses go down, and there is room for both parties to come together.
Forgiveness maintains relationships not only among brothers, but also with the Lord.
“For if you forgive others their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive you your sins. (Matthew 6:14-15)
Look back at your life. Take into account all of your sin; the times you have been unkind, unfaithful, corrupt and more. Christ died for all of these sins, yet it is so difficult to forgive when we have been wronged. We want to hold on to the bitterness and embrace it. How can we not forgive when we have been forgiven of so much? Christ is clear that if we do not forgive we will not be forgiven. We should never allow an unforgiving spirit to come between us and our savior.
All of these things are calling us to humility; calling us to put down our petty differences and live out grace filled lives. Take time today to show grace and wisdom and mercy to another. We will all be better for it.
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