Life and Death

Waddling down the aisle, tripping over feet and luggage straps, I make my way to my seat, 25B.  I stuff my backpack under the seat in front of me.  Packed to overflowing with books, it barely fits.  The guy next to me is large, hairy and sweaty.  He leans his head on the window and closes his eyes. 

In a careless monotone, the flight attendant gives all of the necessary instructions in the event of a disaster:

"Be prepared to operate the emergency exits," What?

"Your seat cushion doubles as a flotation device in the event of a water evacuation," Does she know I'm deathly afraid of sharks?

"Ventilation systems drop from the ceiling in the case of a loss of cabin pressure," I glance up not seeing a place from which anything will drop down.

"Flight marshalls will intervene if you freak out,"  Did she really say that?

The aircraft torpedoes down the runway, and I tighten my belt certain that I'm enjoying my last flight. I hear each rattle and feel each shake and shimmy of the plane as it begins to lift off.  My prayer life suddenly increases in intensity.

"Please forgive my sins. Protect my wife and children.  If it all possible, please let me survive this flight."

This week during my flight I considered the following words of Paul,

For to me, living is Christ and dying is gain. (Philippians 1:21 NET)

How could Paul really say and think this? It would be way to easy for me to say I feel the same way.  All I have to do is look at my behavior during takeoff to see my deficiency.  Paul's mission exposed him to danger daily. The possibility of death presented itself as a very present reality in his life. He experienced beatings, shipwreck, nights in the open sea and danger from wild animals, yet that danger never phased him. I, on the other hand, can be paralyzed by irrational fears as if I were had no hope. Why is that?

I believe it is because Paul had already died. Died to his personal agendas. Died to his desires for achievement and recognition. Died to himself. He says it best in Galatians 2:20.

I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So the life I now live in the body, I live because of the faithfulness of the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20 NET)

What did death mean to Paul? It meant life! What did life mean to Paul?  It meant Christ!  His life completely and forever found itself wrapped up in and embraced by Christ. For him this life truly meant serving Christ. Death meant eternity in Christ's presence.

So, while I still have breath in my lungs, I have to daily ask myself if I have denied myself. Have I daily taken up my cross, giving up everything for Christ just as he gave up everything for me?  Christ tells me that I must do this to truly be his disciple.

Then he said to them all, “If anyone wants to become my follower, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. (Luke 9:23, 24 NET)

What do I have to fear?  When I die to myself, I will true live, because it will be Christ living in me.  He promises to fulfill all my needs if I put him first.  It is time to relinquish everything else and recognize him as my life.